10.5.05

Keeping my Eyes on Jesus

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."
I know many preachers have pointed this out, but it is the reason I love this story. Peter was fine, walking on water, stepping out in faith- childlike faith, just doing what he was told to do by Jesus- until he looked to the wind and began to panic. He took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink. I have done that too many times in my life. Right now I am struggling to keep my temper and attitude in check where I work.

I have watched a very close friend (my boss) betrayed by people who smiled to her face and stabbed her in the back. I had no idea that these things were going on. I found out "after-the-fact." I am livid to be working among some people who would claim to be Christians while gossiping and slandering their boss. I have made my displeasure known, but no one has said anything in front of me. They never have. They know I am loyal to my friends.

I was sickened to hear one of the "offenders" say "Praise Jesus" during a training. All I could think was that "Joe" (not his real name) was a better Christian than that person- and he's Jewish!

I think God has grown me to the point where I will not just sit back and allow sin to flourish in front of me. I stand for my convictions more now than ever. I used to sit back and act passively and rarely confront. Now I confront regularly and disagree face-to-face often. The problem with this gift and I feel it is one- I once prayed God would make me more like His prophets were, standing boldly for Him (no desire to foretell anything). The negative side of this gift is that I can begin confronting when it serves no purpose for the Kingdom of God. I am tempted to "put it out there" and let everyone know what they all know but keep a code of silence on. It would not be to support my convictions, nor would it serve a Biblical purpose. So I recognize that I need to focus on Jesus and keep quiet for now.

I am seeking a transfer- and only employees who happen to read this weblog (there may be one or two) will even know it's coming. It is not a big deal. I am not "inexpendible." But I do not want to be in such a place anymore. I have lost all respect for too many who work here.

So, as I await word on a transfer, I seek after Jesus. I try to keep my eyes on Him. He alone is faithful. Jesus é fiel.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6.33 KJV)

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