a wasted life (repost)

CHAPTER ONE- THE RESULT

Rust Lake, Missouri- The gunman, Russell McGreggor, 26, entered the store and began to fire at will. He callously murdered seventeen people- three men, four women, two teenage girls, one teen age boy and seven children (two boys and five girls ranging from 16 months to five years of age). He then jumped from the third floor balcony to his death. This is the biggest tragedy Rust Lake has ever seen.

The news article was only the final statement on a life that had spiraled downward. The authorities never released the suicide note found at Russell McGreggor's house. They would never be able to peek into the mind of such a cold-hearted killer.

It was not always this way. Russell was born a happy child not far from where his life would one day end. His parents attended the local Pentecostal church regularly and he was very involved in the youth group as a teen and the visitation ministry up until the final year of his life. When he dropped out the church made many attempts to minister to Russell, but he refused all contact.

CHAPTER TWO- THE DESCENT

About a year and a half before his final day the descent began. Russell arrived home from work and found himself angry at the world. He was miserable at his job and he had just finished an argument with his girlfriend of two years, Missy Jennings. This time it seemed to be over for good. She had completed the call before he was through talking. He felt that was unforgivable. She also went to the local Pentecostal church.

Since it was Friday night, he would have to face her Sunday morning during the 10:45 service. He dreaded that. Fortunately it was a church of about 200, so he could try to blend in.

Sunday morning Russell skipped Sunday school because he was in Missy's young adults class. She was a capable teacher at 25 years old. She would use the provided workbooks and expand on the material to enrich the lesson. Her class included some young married couples because of her dynamic teaching ability.

When Russell arrived he took a seat in the back. He tried to sit as far from Missy as possible. To her credit, Missy never mentioned her spilt with Russell to anyone. After the service Missy even tried to approach Russell, but when he saw her heading his way, he made a quick exit.

Upon arrival at his house Russell found a message on his answering machine. It was Missy. She said that she hoped they could remain friends and that she was sorry it did not work out. Missy also said that she would be praying for Russell and that she would always care about him. She finished by saying, "Rusty, I do not regret our time together. I really appreciate you. I hope we can grow from our experiences together." Missy always called him Rusty because they met by Rusty Lake about three years before.

Russell did not accept Missy's graciousness well. He became increasingly bitter and would not talk to her. One time, about a month after they broke up, Missy tried to give Russell a card for his birthday and he tore it up in front of her. Missy cried. Russell hopped in his car and left.

His troubles at work grew. Russell's bitterness grew and he began mistreating his coworkers. He was placed on probation after several complaints and, finally, after threatening his boss with violence he was fired. At that time his life fell into a complete downward spiral. He wrote in his journal- "God! God! God!!! Why are you doing this to me??? Everything in my life is garbage. I have no girlfriend and no job now. All the people at work conspired to get rid of me. The phonies at church are making me sick!! And I am sick of Missy trying to make me look like the bad guy with all her nice talk. You need to make this better now!!!!!!"

His journal entries continued to slide downward into self-pity and accusation. He blamed God for everything and began to write about his abandoning his prayer life and time studying the Bible. At first it was confessing with a small twinge of remorse, but as time progressed, so did his anger. He began to question God and why he should pray and read to Bible and then to disrespect God and deny the Bible. He would work several low-wage jobs and did not do well at them.

Finally, he began to think life was all about "survival of the fittest" and that he did not seem to fit. He bought a gun. At first his plan was to simply commit suicide at his house. However, as his bitterness was tearing him up, he began to think of ways to "go out with a bang" as he wrote in the last entry in his journal. That was the day before his rampage at the store in Rust Lake.

CHAPTER THREE- THE LAST DAY

On the morning of Russell's murderous attack he was brighter and happier than normal. The idea of revenge on the weak and unprepared (in his mind) was the first glimmer of joy he had known in well over a year. He loaded his pistol and brought enough cartridges to ensure he would get at least 25 shots off before he could be overpowered. He had no intention of allowing anyone to overpower him- he would turn the gun on himself before that could happen. He would take a position on the top floor- the store had three floors and a big open area in the middle that shoppers could look down to the bottom floor where there was a food court. "This will be like shooting fish in a bowl," Russell thought to himself.

As he took his position, he became excited and angry thinking about the last year and a half. His excitement grew as he saw a woman who resembled Missy in some ways- same blond hair, just a bit longer, and bright colors- Missy also wore bright colors all the time. He pulled out the gun and began to fire. He first took a few shots at this effigy of Missy. Then he took shots at people on his floor and everyone around him ducked to avoid the bullets. Then he began to shoot at the people in his "fish bowl." After firing about forty to fifty times (reloading quickly between cartridges) he realized what he was doing was evil. Alas, it was too late. He knew he was past the point of no return. As he tried to load another cartridge, the gun jammed and he was now virtually unarmed. As some people decided to rush him he thought that he had to take his life another way- shooting himself would not be an option as he had planned. Russell decided spontaneously to jump head first off the third floor as four men were about ten feet from him in an attempt to subdue him.

As Russell left the top floor he felt as if he were flying. In fact, his though for a split second was, "I didn't know I could fly." In the extremely short time from the third floor to the bottom floor Russell had a flood of thoughts- as if his life did truly flash in front of his eyes. He remembered Missy- thought how beautiful she was. What a shame things did not work out. He also thought of his childhood- the games he played with his family and his high school football career- he had hopes of making a college team on scholarship, but was not quite good enough for that. Russell then thought of God- was this all a mistake? How did he get to this point? God was his friend at one time. And as he was beginning to think about whether he believed God was real or not he felt the cold, hard reality of a floor ending the fall of a three-story leap. As he landed he saw dark red fire shoot outward from where he was. It only took a second to realize that was his blood. With his last thought before the darkness took him, Russell said to himself, "Now my soul will find rest."

CHAPTER FOUR- MEETING WITH GOD

In the instant that his death became final, Russell found himself in the presence of such intense light that he was stunned. It hit him harder than the floor after his plunge. He found himself standing in front of the God he had betrayed. His thoughts raced a bit and he grasped at a straw- the Baptists in the church down the road from his old church believed that once someone was saved they would never lose their place in God's family. God, knowing Russell's thoughts made it clear- "For you to have everlasting salvation Russell you have to have salvation to begin with." God paused as if to let the words sink into eternity before He continued, "Away from me, I never knew you."

CHAPTER FIVE- THE REWARD/THE EVERLASTING END

The intense light was instantly transformed into an almost equally intense darkness. He tried to hold his hand in front of his face, but to no avail. He could not see his finger even when it poked his eye. This was a darkness so dark that it should require a term that was far beyond "darkness." He heard wailing- shrieks of tortured souls screaming for mercy, screaming to see even a speck of light. He heard shouts blaspheming God and hurling accusations at Him. He heard others begging for mercy, only to change their screams for mercy into cries of profanity. No vulgarity was spared. Russell began to awake to a pain searing at his flesh. He felt a fire burning him. It was growing in intensity. He felt worms eating at his flesh and could smell rotting and burning flesh. The pain was growing beyond his comprehension. As he was in the pains of death- to be dying forever, but to never die- he began to remember the times on Earth that he had such comfort and peace. It was all gone now. Then the Bible returned to his memory: "God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment..." (2 Peter 2.4 ESV) and "And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." (Revelation 20.12-15 ESV) So this torture was temporary, eventually he would end up in the lake of fire. The pain would never end.

He screamed in pain- "God help me! Help me- I need you! Help me!" Then his cries for help turned into bitter, hate-filled screams of profanity aimed at God. It was at that time he realized. Something was missing... As his desire to scream at God rose again, he realized- God was not there. For the first time in his life he did not feel the presence of life around him. He heard the screams and felt his own burning, eaten flesh, but the ever-present God was no longer around. His reaction was to scream more vulgarity than he had ever used before at the God who was not there. He would do this for eternity- beg God and curse God and suffer the consequence of his rejection of God's sacrifice of Himself on the cross for the salvation of those who would believe.

He was surrounded by others in torture, but could not communicate with them- nor could he see them. He was isolated from them. Additionally, he was isolated from God. His birth was a day he now regretted. Everything he had done, all the accomplishments, all the friendships, everything in his life, now meant nothing. He was totally and finally alone forever. His soul found no rest. His was... a wasted life.

Sheep in wolfs Clothes "Romans 6"

A video of SiwC playing "Romans 6" at the Refiner's Fire Minstries pre-service with: Philbert (now Pastor Phil) on bass/vocals, Peet on guitar and Gerry on drums (he never played or practiced with us before)... It was fun to play and Philbert had the chance to explain the words and song to those gathered together...

Finding Love in a Storm

The two, Rose and Joseph, walked out of the two-story apartment building toward the lake. Rose went on ahead to meet her mother. Her mother was ankle deep in the lake looking at the approaching storm clouds.

Joseph stood still a few yards from the shore watching them and realizing that he was falling in love with Rose. Just earlier they determined that they were now an item- they were "girlfriend and boyfriend."

Rose was a brunette with medium length hair and a maturity and a youthfulness; Joseph
was less mature than his age would normally require, but somehow managed to be what he termed "somewhat successful."

Out of his daydream he noticed that Rose was about ten feet from her mother in the water watching the increasing severity of the storm. Lightning began to fall. Several small strikes were followed by quick bursts of thunder. Then small swirling short arms of lighting began to spark from the sky. The clouds varied from a mountain-gray to a charcoal black. The wind picked up and pushed through the shore with a fury.

The lightning grew in intensity. Large strikes began to hit with a devastating force. It was like a war-zone.

Rose looked to her mother with a new concern- she woke from her fascination with the storm- and began to call to her mother. The wind was strong, but loud also. Her mother was deaf to her cries.

Joseph walked toward Rose, ducking a bit due to lightning strikes not far from their part of the shore. He approached Rose knowing that the danger was more than he had ever faced in his life. He took Rose by the hand. As she looked at him the danger of the situation became clear. She now worried about Joseph. Before she could say anything, Joseph said to her, "If lightning gets you it will get me too. I will not let you go without me." They began to run from the shore toward safety. As they passed by a tree just before it disintegrated from a lightning strike he continued, "I am not going to lose you this way- it you break up with me that's one thing- but if anything happens, it happens to both of us."

Rose knew she had found her true love.

Grandpa's Good-Bye

I remember it well- it was September 2, 2003. I drove to Tampa International Airport to pick up my wife, Loiana, and my two-year-old (then) daughter, Virginia. They were returning to Florida from a mission trip to Brazil.

When I picked Loiana and Virginia up, they were both tired for the long trip. I was tired from rising early to pick them up and from driving to the airport. I desperately wanted time with my wife and daughter.

As we left the airport, we decided that we would visit my Grandfather the next day. My Grandfather was in Hospice care at his house because he was dying.

However, somehow I took the exit that led to his house. To this day I do not know how I ended up making that turn. If I would have kept on to a later exit we would have headed home. I drove down State Road 52 and past US 41. If I would have made a right on US 41 we would have headed home. If I would have made a right on Shady Hills Road we would have headed home. Still I headed right toward Grandpa and Grandma's house.

When we arrived he was in his bed and only drifting in-and-out of consciousness. I looked upon my Grandpa- the man who had made me laugh so many times with his quick wit and "Red Skelton-esque" humor.  He was now so frail. The man who ran a laundry business and was very active in the local union in New York was now just barely who I remembered. I spoke to him and he barely acknowledged. My wife spoke to him and he barely acknowledged.

My grandpa, a nominal "Catholic," was given "Last Rites" by a minister from his church. I witnessed it and prayed for my grandfather to receive salvation from hearing the pieces of Scripture that were used in this ceremony. The minister left. Only our family and a Hospice nurse remained.

We spent time with Grandpa and Grandma that morning. Eventually we had to leave. We went to say good-bye to my Grandpa. When we whispered to him that we were leaving and loved him- with gentle kisses to his forehead- he did not respond. Not right away. As we straightened to leave, he said, "I love you Virginia," in a voice that had what strength he could muster at that point.

I tried not to cry. And to this day I can hardly contain my tears when I tell this story. For my Grandpa to tell my daughter that he loved her- the final words we would ever hear him say- meant more than if he said something to me.

That afternoon we received a call from my Dad that my Grandpa had passed on. Our final memory of him was a wonderful one despite his condition. I will never forget his words or his tone- he said, "I love you Virginia."

The Last Day

Captain John Brown, a Confederate soldier with orders to capture the Shiloh Valley, saw the Yankee artillery position clearly.  The soldier in blue lit the fuse as the captain and his troops were in a full charge right into the teeth of the enemy position.  "This will be my last battle," he thought in the split second before the large gun fired directly at him.

Just hours before he was about three miles away from this valley receiving his final orders.  He knew it was basically a suicide mission.  He heard a Major say, "Those poor souls are like raw meat going into a meat grinder."  The Major said this in sorrow.  They had all seen enough of death.  Torn bodies- it was obvious the technology for the weaponry was far superior to modern medical technology.

Captain Brown, or Captain Brownie as his men called him, knew he had to rally the troops for a battle they could not win- but one they would try with all their might and blood to win anyway.  Captain Brown asked Parson Finch, a Presbyterian Pastor attached to their division, to lead them in prayer before this battle.  Parson Finch was actually a Colonel, but never allowed himself to be addressed as such because he felt his calling from God was a higher calling than that of his beloved State- Virginia.  Captain Brown thought it very apropos that Parson Finch prayed about his men "Storming the gates of hell itself."  That is what they would be doing.  Captain Brown felt that in this instance there was little chance they would prevail against the gates of hell.  It seemed fitting that this night was moonless and dark.

The march was a forced march to the front and then a ten minute rest before the troops swarmed the valley.  They knew that Yankee troops were going to hit them from all sides and that a strong artillery position awaited them at the end.  Captain Brown led about 500 men.  Scouts had estimated that the Northern troops were numbered at about 1400.  Not the way to win a battle.  The only things going for Brown's force was that they would surprise the enemy with this insane strike and they would be able to move under cover of complete darkness.  They would have to move about a mile into the valley to face the artillery position.  If they could get that far they had a chance to do some damage.  But victory was near impossible.  

As the force rested their ten minutes, Captain Brown told them that they were to drive forward at half-speed and quietly until they hear the first shot.  At that time they would charge ahead with reckless abandon and a hearty "rebel yell."  "And remember old Stonewall as you give 'em the bayonet!"  A few of these men had fought under Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson.  In fact, this was a rag-tag group of soldiers from splintered divisions or divisions that had been wiped-out.  But they were all serious and hardened enough by this war that they knew the importance of this battle- and the expected defeat.  But they were encouraged by the thought of David fighting the giant Philistine Goliath.  Parson Finch had just preached about that in his morning devotion this morning.  

Ten minutes passed like an eternity- a strange mixture of dread and excitement.  Wanting to cry and wanting to get in there and do the impossible.  Finally it was time.  Captain Brown uttered a quick prayer with his men and they began their march into "the gates of hell."

Their pace was a trot to begin, but they gradually began to sprint toward the line.  Strangely, there was no opposition as they crossed the half-way mark toward their goal.  Finally, someone could not contain themselves and began the storied "rebel yell."  When they were about 1000 yards from the artillery, the surprised Yankee troops began to defend their position.  The bullets whizzed by and caught several men in mid-step.  They went down like a sack of dirt, crashing to the ground.  Undaunted, their fellow soldiers continued on.  At about 500 yards, they could easily make out the form of the enemy soldiers.  Each Confederate soldier had one shot before they would be left only with their bayonets.  

As they were closing in, Captain Brown thought to himself, "Maybe, just maybe, we can make it.  We are almost there!"  The Yankee fire was inflicting more Southern casualties, but still about 430 men were surging forward toward the artillery.  Some fell cursing, others fell and called out with a prayer to the God they hoped to see as their breath ceased.

Captain Brown was in the lead, also with a bayonet, leading the charge.  Men running on one side- all out, not noticing any fatigue or need to rest despite the long journey to this point- adrenaline was pumping fast and furious.  More went down with the volley, but fewer then before as the Yankee soldiers were not as accurate, rushing their shots, as they heard the rebel yell and saw the over 400 men rushing toward them at a lightning-fast pace. 

Finally Captain Brown was within 70 yards of the main gun.   He saw the Yankee artillery position clearly.  The soldier in blue lit the fuse as the captain and his troops were in a full charge right into the teeth of the enemy position.  "This will be my last battle," he thought in the split second before the large gun fired directly at him.  In less than a second he saw the large black object emerge from the barrel and in an instant it was over for him and about 20 men behind him.  All was silent in the life of Captain John Brown, Confederate States of America Army.

He did not live to see his remaining 300 or so troops capture the gun that ended his command and his life as well as the six others, loaded, but not fired by Yankees who were now dead like "Captain Brownie."  He did not see his troops turn the guns on a wave of advancing Yankees who were counting on the guns to prepare the way for a counter-attack.  He did not see the Confederate forces sweep in from both flanks after they were engaged to further surprise the "Yankee invader."  Captain Brown led his troops into a victory that seemed impossible.  He never saw the turn of the battle.

a wasted life

CHAPTER ONE- THE RESULT

Rust Lake, Missouri- The gunman, Russell McGreggor, 26, entered the store and began to fire at will. He callously murdered seventeen people- three men, four women, two teenage girls, one teen age boy and seven children (two boys and five girls ranging from 16 months to five years of age). He then jumped from the third floor balcony to his death. This is the biggest tragedy Rust Lake has ever seen.

The news article was only the final statement on a life that had spiraled downward. The authorities never released the suicide note found at Russell McGreggor's house. They would never be able to peek into the mind of such a cold-hearted killer.

It was not always this way. Russell was born a happy child not far from where his life would one day end. His parents attended the local Pentecostal church regularly and he was very involved in the youth group as a teen and the visitation ministry up until the final year of his life. When he dropped out the church made many attempts to minister to Russell, but he refused all contact.

CHAPTER TWO- THE DESCENT

About a year and a half before his final day the descent began. Russell arrived home from work and found himself angry at the world. He was miserable at his job and he had just finished an argument with his girlfriend of two years, Missy Jennings. This time it seemed to be over for good. She had completed the call before he was through talking. He felt that was unforgivable. She also went to the local Pentecostal church.

Since it was Friday night, he would have to face her Sunday morning during the 10:45 service. He dreaded that. Fortunately it was a church of about 200, so he could try to blend in.

Sunday morning Russell skipped Sunday school because he was in Missy's young adults class. She was a capable teacher at 25 years old. She would use the provided workbooks and expand on the material to enrich the lesson. Her class included some young married couples because of her dynamic teaching ability.

When Russell arrived he took a seat in the back. He tried to sit as far from Missy as possible. To her credit, Missy never mentioned her spilt with Russell to anyone. After the service Missy even tried to approach Russell, but when he saw her heading his way, he made a quick exit.

Upon arrival at his house Russell found a message on his answering machine. It was Missy. She said that she hoped they could remain friends and that she was sorry it did not work out. Missy also said that she would be praying for Russell and that she would always care about him. She finished by saying, "Rusty, I do not regret our time together. I really appreciate you. I hope we can grow from our experiences together." Missy always called him Rusty because they met by Rusty Lake about three years before.

Russell did not accept Missy's graciousness well. He became increasingly bitter and would not talk to her. One time, about a month after they broke up, Missy tried to give Russell a card for his birthday and he tore it up in front of her. Missy cried. Russell hopped in his car and left.

His troubles at work grew. Russell's bitterness grew and he began mistreating his coworkers. He was placed on probation after several complaints and, finally, after threatening his boss with violence he was fired. At that time his life fell into a complete downward spiral. He wrote in his journal- "God! God! God!!! Why are you doing this to me??? Everything in my life is garbage. I have no girlfriend and no job now. All the people at work conspired to get rid of me. The phonies at church are making me sick!! And I am sick of Missy trying to make me look like the bad guy with all her nice talk. You need to make this better now!!!!!!"

His journal entries continued to slide downward into self-pity and accusation. He blamed God for everything and began to write about his abandoning his prayer life and time studying the Bible. At first it was confessing with a small twinge of remorse, but as time progressed, so did his anger. He began to question God and why he should pray and read to Bible and then to disrespect God and deny the Bible. He would work several low-wage jobs and did not do well at them.

Finally, he began to think life was all about "survival of the fittest" and that he did not seem to fit. He bought a gun. At first his plan was to simply commit suicide at his house. However, as his bitterness was tearing him up, he began to think of ways to "go out with a bang" as he wrote in the last entry in his journal. That was the day before his rampage at the store in Rust Lake.

CHAPTER THREE- THE LAST DAY

On the morning of Russell's murderous attack he was brighter and happier than normal. The idea of revenge on the weak and unprepared (in his mind) was the first glimmer of joy he had known in well over a year. He loaded his pistol and brought enough cartridges to ensure he would get at least 25 shots off before he could be overpowered. He had no intention of allowing anyone to overpower him- he would turn the gun on himself before that could happen. He would take a position on the top floor- the store had three floors and a big open area in the middle that shoppers could look down to the bottom floor where there was a food court. "This will be like shooting fish in a bowl," Russell thought to himself.

As he took his position, he became excited and angry thinking about the last year and a half. His excitement grew as he saw a woman who resembled Missy in some ways- same blond hair, just a bit longer, and bright colors- Missy also wore bright colors all the time. He pulled out the gun and began to fire. He first took a few shots at this effigy of Missy. Then he took shots at people on his floor and everyone around him ducked to avoid the bullets. Then he began to shoot at the people in his "fish bowl." After firing about forty to fifty times (reloading quickly between cartridges) he realized what he was doing was evil. Alas, it was too late. He knew he was past the point of no return. As he tried to load another cartridge, the gun jammed and he was now virtually unarmed. As some people decided to rush him he thought that he had to take his life another way- shooting himself would not be an option as he had planned. Russell decided spontaneously to jump head first off the third floor as four men were about ten feet from him in an attempt to subdue him.

As Russell left the top floor he felt as if he were flying. In fact, his though for a split second was, "I didn't know I could fly." In the extremely short time from the third floor to the bottom floor Russell had a flood of thoughts- as if his life did truly flash in front of his eyes. He remembered Missy- thought how beautiful she was. What a shame things did not work out. He also thought of his childhood- the games he played with his family and his high school football career- he had hopes of making a college team on scholarship, but was not quite good enough for that. Russell then thought of God- was this all a mistake? How did he get to this point? God was his friend at one time. And as he was beginning to think about whether he believed God was real or not he felt the cold, hard reality of a floor ending the fall of a three-story leap. As he landed he saw dark red fire shoot outward from where he was. It only took a second to realize that was his blood. With his last thought before the darkness took him, Russell said to himself, "Now my soul will find rest."

CHAPTER FOUR- MEETING WITH GOD

In the instant that his death became final, Russell found himself in the presence of such intense light that he was stunned. It hit him harder than the floor after his plunge. He found himself standing in front of the God he had betrayed. His thoughts raced a bit and he grasped at a straw- the Baptists in the church down the road from his old church believed that once someone was saved they would never lose their place in God's family. God, knowing Russell's thoughts made it clear- "For you to have everlasting salvation Russell you have to have salvation to begin with." God paused as if to let the words sink into eternity before He continued, "Away from me, I never knew you."

CHAPTER FIVE- THE REWARD/THE EVERLASTING END

The intense light was instantly transformed into an almost equally intense darkness. He tried to hold his hand in front of his face, but to no avail. He could not see his finger even when it poked his eye. This was a darkness so dark that it should require a term that was far beyond "darkness." He heard wailing- shrieks of tortured souls screaming for mercy, screaming to see even a speck of light. He heard shouts blaspheming God and hurling accusations at Him. He heard others begging for mercy, only to change their screams for mercy into cries of profanity. No vulgarity was spared. Russell began to awake to a pain searing at his flesh. He felt a fire burning him. It was growing in intensity. He felt worms eating at his flesh and could smell rotting and burning flesh. The pain was growing beyond his comprehension. As he was in the pains of death- to be dying forever, but to never die- he began to remember the times on Earth that he had such comfort and peace. It was all gone now. Then the Bible returned to his memory: "God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment..." (2 Peter 2.4 ESV) and "And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." (Revelation 20.12-15 ESV) So this torture was temporary, eventually he would end up in the lake of fire. The pain would never end.

He screamed in pain- "God help me! Help me- I need you! Help me!" Then his cries for help turned into bitter, hate-filled screams of profanity aimed at God. It was at that time he realized. Something was missing... As his desire to scream at God rose again, he realized- God was not there. For the first time in his life he did not feel the presence of life around him. He heard the screams and felt his own burning, eaten flesh, but the ever-present God was no longer around. His reaction was to scream more vulgarity than he had ever used before at the God who was not there. He would do this for eternity- beg God and curse God and suffer the consequence of his rejection of God's sacrifice of Himself on the cross for the salvation of those who would believe.

He was surrounded by others in torture, but could not communicate with them- nor could he see them. He was isolated from them. Additionally, he was isolated from God. His birth was a day he now regretted. Everything he had done, all the accomplishments, all the friendships, everything in his life, now meant nothing. He was totally and finally alone forever. His soul found no rest. His was... a wasted life.

The Sum of All Tears...

A short story influenced by the movie and book "The Sum of All Fears," and current political reactions to the War on Terror- what some call World War III and I call World War IV (because the Cold War was a war). 

The left-wing Democrats in the United States congress were able to take control of the House of Representatives in November 2008. They immediately teamed with the left-wing leaders in the Senate to take control of Congress due to the nominal right wing's lack of resolve in their perceived convictions.

Along with this, the new President and Congress forced the military accept new conditions on the way the war on terror would be waged. The eventual most important aspect of these changes was the 100% avoidance of collateral damage. As this became publicized, the islamic terrorists began to offer meetings to dialogue for peace. However, they increased their attacks on the military and civilian targets in Afghanistan and Iraq.

One day in May of 2007, the US Air Force acquired a target in downtown Najaf. There was 100% verified proof that Habib Al Salami was hiding in a small house in town. The house was marked by undercover special forces and the attack was ordered. As the jets approached, Al Salami placed a family- bound and gagged- on the roof of the house he was hiding in. When this was communicated to the air command, the attack was called off due to the policy concerning collateral damage. Habib Al Salami escaped before the house could be raided by commandos.

Two weeks later, Habib Al Salami was in Saudi Arabia completing the plan to smuggle a nuclear bomb into the United States through the Southern boarder and another through the Northern boarder. The thought was that at least one should arrive at the destination.

On June 1, 2009, two cell groups received the two bombs without any trouble and prepared their plans for terror on an unimaginable scale.

On June 6, 2009, 65 years after D-Day, another "D-Day" was scheduled to occur. Without warning, almost simultaneously, nuclear warheads exploded in Washington D.C. and Tampa, FL just outside of MacDill Air Force Base. The devastation was on a grand scale. The Capitol, the White House, all the major monuments and a majority of Congress and the Vice President were wiped out in the blink of an eye. The Air Force Base in Tampa and much of downtown- including Tampa's football stadium and international airport- was leveled.

The power of the nuclear weapons surprised even the experts. The lawmakers who handcuffed the military were no longer making decisions- they were less than ashes. American families were torn apart with losses in the hundreds of thousands.

The President, now alone in Command of the nation, was beyond shock. He had to decide what course of action to take...

This concludes the short story. Think about the way we wage war now- we go out of our way to avoid civilian casualties. That is good, but only to a certain extent.

In the story above, Al Salami could have been stopped, but the human shields were used effectively to aid in his escape. A few people were not to become collateral damage, but in the end thousands upon thousands paid the price.

The USA is becoming a nation lacking conviction. We have allowed ourselves to celebrate sin and reject God. I believe a result of this is a weakening of what made the USA strong. With the loss of our moral fiber, we have also lost our will and our ability to stand on virtue. We have none to stand on.

Righteousness exalts a nation, But sin is a disgrace to any people. (Proverbs 14.34 NASB)